The Game of Life

Man, oh, man how I wish I could start over. I know that in my heart of hearts that’s not really the case, but it’s sad that as a human being, I’ve only just begun to understand the world and my place within it. As a nearly-40-year-old who has made her share of mistakes, I wish I could go back and talk to my almost-20-year-old self and tell her to not be so afraid. I really mourn all the things I might have accomplished if my two selves had summoned that conversation all those years ago. If I’d known the rules of the game in advance.

Now, I’m no longer afraid, but part of the hassle of growing old is having to constantly convince yourself that it’s not too late, even as society tells you otherwise. You have to be your own cheerleader and build the strength everyday to keep a smile on and forge ahead.


The point is, life is reality great, and the key to winning the game is always keeping that in mind, no matter how close to losing it seems you are.






4 thoughts on “The Game of Life

  1. Walik Edwards

    Hi Burgin. I’m not going to start out by saying, “It’s me Walik Edwards! You know, the one from B&N a long time ago!” Mostly because no one else has dared to name their child Walik (OK, a couple have, but not too many). I’ve been looking for some inspirations to write and get back to some stuff that I’ve always done that has made me “satisfied.” Currently I am separated (family decision because of economics and my looking for a job in my field post-grad school, a mere seven months in) from my spouse and two kids, seven-year-old Shea and four-year-old August at the moment, and that can get someone down.

    However, I was looking around in our storage space and came upon a plastic bag, and in it were bunches of pictures. Most of them made me smile, and some made me smile to the point where my teeth almost shattered from doing it with so much force. I found a group of karaoke pictures from circa 1999.

    (Another tangent that’s turning this into its own blog at this point)

    I work for the State of Washington at the moment and one of the things I do is our field office’s newsletter, which they give me lots of liberty with. Last year I was talking to one of the people on my team, and we were talking karaoke. I felt like I had enough of those in my back pocket to make a Top-10. The Edwards-Streetman duet of “Islands In The Stream” came in at #4 (losing out to – in descending order – me kicking off my own going away party with “Nights In White Satin” because someone programmed it by mistake, it came on, I was sitting coincidentally sitting at a table by myself with one of the two microphones a few inches away… was my party and I sang cuz I wanted to; me and a guy named Bubba dueting on “Arthur’s Theme (The Best That You Can Do).” It’s not a duet and we kept throwing it back and forth to one another like we’d been doing it for years. It killed!; and the top being Allan Fox and I doing “Ebony and Ivory.” So good, we did it two different times.

    So you’re known by a handful government workers here in Washington State.

    So, I found pictures of our duet. I believe there are 2 or 3 with a couple of group shots. I remember the conversation came up accidentally where I learned you liked to karaoke (to a further degree than the rest of us), and was excited that you were going to come with us to Winnie’s in Chinatown because the more, the merrier, and you were “trained” in the “art.”

    I will be scanning them and eventually make them available to you because while things may be tilting towards the way we don’t want them to be right now, it was the best smile I had in a really long while, especially if you put the memories to them as well.


  2. Swati

    I knew I was way behind in my blog reading, but had not realized that its been almost a year since I actually followed your blogs till I read your last post on Vintage today and followed you here, tracing the posts to May 11.

    Interesting that despite shifting your perspective, the posts are still, for the most part, about feelings. Sometimes I feel I am all shifting emotion, sans substance. Where are the clear thoughts, those sharply etched ideas from our youth? How do we end up being so tuned to the inner world’s winds and tides? Does it have something to do with staying home which makes introspection more of stagnation than progress?

    Forgive me for presuming an echo if there is none. After all a moment’s snapshot, even if it seems to agree, does not make kindred souls.

  3. Tiffani

    I just wanted to thank you for helping me find a book that I had been looking for forever! All I could remember was: I found it, I picked it up, and I put it in a cage! Your blog is wonderful. Thank you for the Vintage site again. I will tell all my friends. This is a fun new find!


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